Of Fish And Legs
by Yamirei Shizawa
Summary: Umio grows legs, and Noire mysteriously ends up in the Zero Dimension. Now it is up to Uzume, Nepgear and Neptune to understand what's going on. Mostly Nepgear. Well.. they didn't exactly figure it out in the end.


_**Of Fish And Legs**_

Neptune slammed an empty pudding cup on the table, whining. "Pudding! We need more pudding! We're out already!" Then she saw. "Hya! Uzumeee~~! Can Nep have your pudding~?"

"No way! This is the last cup, and you already ate a lot," Uzume protested, shoving spoonfuls into her mouth, while sorting share crystals.

"C'moonn~~! I want pudding~!" Neptune cried like a little child, rolling on the floor in despair.

A sigh sounded. "Honestly.. Onee-chan, if you'd go out and get a few eggs, you'd be eating more pudding right now. How lazy can you possibly get?"

"But, Nep Jr., exercise burns your soul and destroys your body! I can't possibly go if you wish Planeptune to continue having a CPU! _Believe it!_ "

Her complaints were useless. In the end, Nepgear went to get the needed ingredients just so her older sister would shut up.

Neptune impatiently waited, dabbing at Uzume's pudding while the latter was oblivious to her snack being ravaged.

"Good evening." Umio's voice sounded as he walked into the base.

"Hey, Umio," Uzume waved nonchalantly, not looking up from the crystals.

Wait.

Neptune dropped her spoon and yelled in shock, " _WHAT THE NEP?!_ "

"What- MY PUDDING!" Uzume exclaimed, looking at the almost empty cup.

And then at Umio.

Umio's long, athletic legs.

 ** _Umio_** _'s legs_.

A loud scream echoed around the city.

* * *

"Hm? What was that?" Nepgear asked herself in wonder. Eventually she dropped the thought, and made her way to a stall where monsters sold eggs, passing by a terminal.

A terminal with moving bushes. She paused and did a double take.

A black tail stuck out of one of them. "Ah, must be some kind of animal! I've never seen this species before, though.." She pondered for a few moments, before grabbing it and pulling.

"AHH, MY HAIR, MY HAIR, _MY HAIR!_ " yelled a very familiar voice, and Nepgear blinked, letting go when her hand was slapped away.

"Noire..?" She asked blankly, her mind too shocked to comprehend the situation.

The CPU stood up from behind the bush, rubbing her scalp. "Nepgear?"

Yet another scream echoed in the distance, " _WHY DOES UMIO HAVE LEGS?!_ "

The Purple Sister failed to comprehend what was going on, and passed out cold.

* * *

 _Two hours later, back at Uzume's base.._

Nepgear awoke to the sight of..

No words could describe the atmosphere.

Umio was posing sexily with his new pair of legs, Uzume was spacing off in her cutesy zone, and Neptune was chasing Noire, yelling something about pudding and how she got there.

"Gearsy, what do you think about my legs?" Umio asked, his ego visible in his words, striking yet another pose that accentuated his slender legs.

"..and then me and Nepsy and Nowa-chan would have a girls' night together with cute movies and cake and pillow fights and love stories and.." Uzume went on and on in the background, surrounded by white clouds and sparkles.

"Nowa-chan?!" Noire exclaimed in frustration, taking a turn and giving Neptune a knife hand strike right in the face, effectively knocking her out. She pumped her fist in victory.

Nepgear decided to pass out again and never wake up. It was for the best.

* * *

She was slapped awake, and the force made her roll off the bed. "Whoa!"

"Nepgear, wake up, you sleepyhead!" Uni said in disappointment, shaking her head. "You've been sleeping the entire day. I was seriously getting concerned."

"Wha- Where's Umio with his legs? And Uzume? And Onee-chan and Noire?"

The Black Sister raised an eyebrow in confusion. "Whatever you just dreamed about, I don't understand what was going on. Are you sure you didn't hit your head before going to sleep?"

Nepgear was partly relieved. "I see.. a dream. I'm so glad that was a dream."

"A dream?" Umio's voice was heard, and Nepgear slowly turned to look towards her room's door.

Umio had _legs_. And was standing on said legs, with Uzume zoning out behind him.

Both Uni and Nepgear blinked. Uni curled up on the bed and pulled the covers over both of them, "Good night."

"My legs aren't that bad," Umio sighed, kicking Uzume out of her daydream and closing the door.

Not many days after, it was announced that Uni and Nepgear have entered deep hybernation. At the news, Neptune whined in jealousy, and Noire freaked out.

There was nothing to be done in the end, after all.

* * *

 _ **We need more Umio legs.**_


End file.
